Repl T A Triing Epistle Reeived Fr
reply to a trimmile received from a tailor
what ails ye now, ye lousie bitch
to thresh my back at sic a pitch?
losh, man! hae mercy wi' your natch,
your bodkin's bauld;
i didna suffer half sae much
frae daddie auld.
what tho' at times, when i grow crouse,
i gie their wames a random pouse,
is that enough for you to souse
your servant sae?
gae mind your seam, ye prick-the-louse,
an' jag-the-flea!
king david, o' poetic brief,
wrocht 'mang the lasses sic mischief
as filled his after-life wi' grief,
an' bluidy rants,
a he's rank'd amang the chief
o' lang-syne saunts.
and maybe, tam, for a' my ts,
my wicked rhymes, an' dru rants,
i'll gie auld cloven's clootie's haunts
an unco slip yet,
an' snugly sit amang the saunts,
at davie's hip yet!
but, fegs! the session says i maun
gae fa' upo' anither plan
than garrin lasses coup the ,
heels ower body,
an' sairly thole their mother's ban
afore the howdy.
this leads me on to tell for sport,
how i did wi' the session sort;
auld kum, at the inner port,
cried three times, “robin!
e hither lad, and answer for't,
ye're blam'd for jobbin!”
wi' pinch i put a sunday's fa,
an' snoov'd awa before the session:
i made an open, fair fession—
i s't to lee,
an' syne mess john, beyond expression,
fell foul o' me.
a fornicator-loun he call'd me,
an' said my faut frae bliss expell'd me;
i own'd the tale was true he tell'd me,
“but, what the matter?
(quo' i) i fear unless ye geld me,
i'll ne'er be better!”
“geld you! (quo' he) an' what for no?
if that yht hand, leg or toe
should ever prove your sp'ritual foe,
you should remember
to cut it aff—an' what for no
your dearest member?”
“na, na, (quo' i,) i'm no for that,
gelding's ter than 'tis ca't;
i'd rather suffer for my faut
a hearty flewit,
as sair owre hip as ye draw't,
tho' i should rue it.
“in ye like to end the bother,
to please us a'—i've just ae ither—
whe wi' yon lass i father,
whate'er betide it,
i'll frankly gie her 't a' thegither,
a her guide it.”
but, sir, this pleas'd them warst of a',
an' therefore, tam, when that i saw,
i said “gude night,” an' cam' awa',
ahe session;
i saw they were resolved a'
on my oppression.
what ails ye now, ye lousie bitch
to thresh my back at sic a pitch?
losh, man! hae mercy wi' your natch,
your bodkin's bauld;
i didna suffer half sae much
frae daddie auld.
what tho' at times, when i grow crouse,
i gie their wames a random pouse,
is that enough for you to souse
your servant sae?
gae mind your seam, ye prick-the-louse,
an' jag-the-flea!
king david, o' poetic brief,
wrocht 'mang the lasses sic mischief
as filled his after-life wi' grief,
an' bluidy rants,
a he's rank'd amang the chief
o' lang-syne saunts.
and maybe, tam, for a' my ts,
my wicked rhymes, an' dru rants,
i'll gie auld cloven's clootie's haunts
an unco slip yet,
an' snugly sit amang the saunts,
at davie's hip yet!
but, fegs! the session says i maun
gae fa' upo' anither plan
than garrin lasses coup the ,
heels ower body,
an' sairly thole their mother's ban
afore the howdy.
this leads me on to tell for sport,
how i did wi' the session sort;
auld kum, at the inner port,
cried three times, “robin!
e hither lad, and answer for't,
ye're blam'd for jobbin!”
wi' pinch i put a sunday's fa,
an' snoov'd awa before the session:
i made an open, fair fession—
i s't to lee,
an' syne mess john, beyond expression,
fell foul o' me.
a fornicator-loun he call'd me,
an' said my faut frae bliss expell'd me;
i own'd the tale was true he tell'd me,
“but, what the matter?
(quo' i) i fear unless ye geld me,
i'll ne'er be better!”
“geld you! (quo' he) an' what for no?
if that yht hand, leg or toe
should ever prove your sp'ritual foe,
you should remember
to cut it aff—an' what for no
your dearest member?”
“na, na, (quo' i,) i'm no for that,
gelding's ter than 'tis ca't;
i'd rather suffer for my faut
a hearty flewit,
as sair owre hip as ye draw't,
tho' i should rue it.
“in ye like to end the bother,
to please us a'—i've just ae ither—
whe wi' yon lass i father,
whate'er betide it,
i'll frankly gie her 't a' thegither,
a her guide it.”
but, sir, this pleas'd them warst of a',
an' therefore, tam, when that i saw,
i said “gude night,” an' cam' awa',
ahe session;
i saw they were resolved a'
on my oppression.